Local Drug Dealer "Stoked" At 2014 Budget

14 May 2014, 7:00am

Tony Abbott and his band of sadists delivered a painful budget this week that will hit the coin purse of a majority of Australians. Needless to say, the public were quick to register their discontent on social media.

However, local drug dealer and minor thug Julian aka "8-Ball", was able to see the upside in the 2014 Budget. We asked 8-Ball about the hike in GP costs:
"Awwww shit chyeh bro. I was hella stoked when that shrek-looking mafucker announced that there would be a hike in GP cost. If GPs are more expensive, peeps are gonna wanna self medicate and I've got that kuta shit, ya hear?
We then asked 8-Ball about the effect on making the dole less available:  
Oh, a 6 month wait to get the dole is perfect. I'll surely recruit some unemployed under 30's to smuggle my shit into prisons and rehab facilities. Hide it right in their clackers. Them boys will crave that extra cash. Fan-fucking-tastic budget if you ask me".
 Will the 2014 Budget help you any further 8-Ball?!
"Chyeh. Single mothers have it harder than ever now, with the family tax benefit being cut. So, I'm sure I can convince a few more MILFs to pleasure me for money. Know what I'm saying?"
Well, there you have it Australia - the 2014 Budget is tailor made for dropkick, immoral dirt-bags like 8-Ball. Well done Tony and Shrek.

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