Tight-Ass Bill Strikes Again: I Will Re-Gift This Hot-Dog Maker

29 July 2013, 11:05am

Bill Heffer, 38, is widely regarded as one of Perth's tightest men. His total unwillingness to part with his hard earned coin is legendary and has earned him the nickname of Tight-Ass Bill.

Bill's brother, Charles, recently invited friends and family to celebrate his birthday on 30 July at the exquisite Print Hall Restaurant in Brookfield Place. Bill received his invitation today and was absolutely thrilled with the timing, he told the Times

"perfect timing, the missus has been on my back about throwing out this ridiculous hot-dog maker that my mate bought me for my house-warming party in April. I have only used it about eight times. I will re-gift it for my brother's birthday. Booyah. This will save me the $20 worth of scratchies that I would've bought Charles for his big day AND I get a free feed at the Print Hall. Double Booyah".

The Bell Tower Times spoke to Bill's girlfriend, Helga, about re-gifting the hot-dog maker:

"Thats Bill for you. Charles is a vegan for christ's sake. I suppose it's better than the time Bill threw a dinner party and "cooked" 20 packets of Mi Goreng for the main course. He reckons the food tasted extra good based on the savings made". 

You are a real scumbag Bill, Booyah.