Perth Zoo to House Gina Rinehart

14 August 2013, 7:00am

Perth Zoo is abuzz with excitement, as Colin Barnett recently announced he would pledge $1 million dollars to help relocate and build a suitable enclosure for Gina Rinehart at the Perth Zoo.

Perth Zoo, spokesman told the Times:

"We will be the first Zoo in the world to house a parasitic land mammal. We will convert the elephant pen into a specialised enclosure. Probably with some additional reinforcement though".

Rinehart's natural habitat, the coal fields, have been threatened by economic instability and the invasion of lawyers into her personal affairs. The flow on effect from the destruction of her habitat has led to arrogant comments about the Australian working class and a prolonged attempt to eat her young.

 It is feared that unaided, Rinehart will continue to make an ass of herself in the public spotlight.

Perth Zoo plans to offer Rinehart a state-of-the-art breeding program. As Rinehart feeds off her children's money, it is essential that Rinehart produces more offspring so that she may have enough resources to survive. It is believed Tony Abbott has volunteered himself for the program.

Twiggy Forest has volunteered one of his front end loaders to assist with the relocation, adding "good riddance".