Stoned Guy Fucks Up Everyone's KFC Order

1 August 2013, 5:30m

Wally Sampson, 21, was enjoying a Wednesday evening of bong smoking, shit talking and table tennis with his mates. Doing what he loves.

At approximately 7:30pm, Wally generously offered to go on a "Dirty Bird Run". For the uninitiated, "Dirty Bird" is a popular colloquialism for KFC. A defiant Wally refused to write anyone's order down, and assured his mates that he has "got this shit".

What began as a nice gesture soon descended into mayhem, when Wally arrived at the KFC in Mount Lawley, he realised that he had not only left his phone at home, but had forgotten everyone's order. Wally decided that he would simply "wing it". 

KFC staffer, Kyle Long, told the Times:

"yeh, this stoned guy rolled through the drive through. He seemed dazed and confused. He ended up buying a bucket of chicken and 8 large potato and gravies. I thought it was a pretty strange order... but hey"

Wally arrived home at approximately 7:55pm, he was met with a chorus of criticism, "where is my Zinga burger", "did you get any chips?", "mountain dew fukhead?", "man, I was really hanging for some popcorn chicken", "why did you buy so much potato and slurry"?

Amazingly, Wally had managed to spend all his friends money on a bucket of dirty chicken and enough potato and gravy to paint a room with.  

Wally apologised for the effort and retreated into the toilet with a tub of potato and gravy, to "be alone with the slurry".