Regrettable: Man Snorts Line of Cocaine Before Interview

Yesterday, Tony, 26, was preparing for an interview with a prestigious marketing firm.

Tony's preparation was going swimmingly until he made the regrettable decision to snort a fat line of cocaine to give himself an edge.

An anonymous source from the marketing firm told The Bell Tower Times that Tony arrived at his interview 5 minutes late and was noticed breathing heavily and winking at every female he walked past.

Sadly, Tony's sleazy late arrival was not his only faux pas during the hour-long interview, according to our source, Tony also:

1. Held an unbroken 7-second stare at the female interviewer before saying anything;

2. Applied lip balm 18 times;

3. Spoke at length about his amateur boxing when asked what skills he could bring to the firm;

4. Made 3 jokes about wanting a cigarette;

5. Drank the entire jug (1.5L) of water;

6. suffered facial contortions and swinging jaw syndrome; and

7. Sweated profusely (despite air-conditioning).

The Bell Tower Times asked Tony what he was thinking:

"In hindsight, the choice to snort that charlie was misguided and regrettable. My guy usually gives me pretty weak blow, so I thought it was just going to pep me up. Little did I know he gave me some fucking scar-face shit. I cant confirm, but I may have made a fool of myself". 

 Needless to say, Tony got the job, as the Managing Director of the firm not only shared Tony's cocaine dealer and was also a mate of his dads.

For the uninitiated, this is how the corporate world works.