Misleading: Man Sues Church Over "Good Friday"

18 April 2014, 7:30am

Local nutter, Roy Swang, 29, has taken the remarkable step of initiating an action against the Catholic Church of Australia, claiming its use of the term "Good Friday" is deceptive and misleading.

Roy told The Bell Tower Times:

"Seriously, what is "Good" about this day every year? Bottleshops are closed, fish and chip stores have massive lines and I get death stares from shmucks when I order a bit of ham in my local IGA. This day bloody sucks, and its about time the Catholic Church were held to account. Such a shit day". 

Swang's Writ claims that he has suffered loss as a result of the Church's misleading statements. He claims that the Church has "robbed him of 29 days of his life", "exerted unreasonable influence over the Liquor industry", "is in kahootz with Kailis Brothers" , "has no right to ruin a perfectly good Friday" and "covered up an incident when a Priest touched and confiscated his piece of ham when he was in high school". 

We contact the Catholic Church of Australia to ask them about the claims. A spokesman for the Church told us:

"In terms of legal issues, we have bigger fish to fry, ha ha. We will be defending the claims vigorously like we defend all claims against the Church".

A Court ordered mediation is likely to be ordered and in true fashion, we expect the Church to settle out of Court.