Balinese Running Amok in Australia

Northbridge, Chapel St, Kings Cross and Darwin CBD have become hotbeds of drunken Balinese bogans causing mayhem and destruction. 

The loutish, tattooed Balinese flock to Australia in droves as the mining boom has flooded their tiny island with FIFO wealth. The average Australian spends a staggering $2,500.00 in Bali during the course of their 1-2 week vacation. When you consider the number of Aussies who holiday on the island, it is no surprise that the Bali economy is booming.

Balinese party-animals can be seen vomiting on the street in popular party districts such as Northbridge, Perth or Chapel Street in Melbourne. One Western Australian police officer told The Bell Tower Times:

"They (Balinese) storm into our nightspots wearing singlets and board shorts. They rudely attempt to barter with bartenders and when they don't get their way, they break neon signs and the like. The Balinese have studied the Aussie bogan, and they have learnt how to utilise obnoxiousness to get their way".

The problem is so bad, that many scooter companies have refused to rent out their scooters to the Balinese, noting that they are sick of "these drunken hooligans treating our streets like a game of Mario Kart". 

It is feared that in time, the Balinese will adopt Australia Day as their unofficial drinking Olympics, and give the flag-waving Aussies a run for their money.