Frank is the sweat patch on society’s shirt: unwanted but hard to get rid of.
After 35 years in the same job, Frank has finally climbed to the staggering heights of middle management. His dinosaur-ic approach to work is only matched by his penchant for barking orders while his boomer-hole is filled with a gluttonous load of morning tea.
When it comes to technology Frank has a two tricks up his sleeve: leaving voicemail messages and accessing Perthnow via “that Google website”. After his daily destruction of the toilet bowl, Frank logs onto his favourite News provider.
He spots an article about a “Gen Y’er” complaining about Centrelink taking too long to approve his study allowance. He stares at the article like he’d spotted a youth sagging his pants. The rage of pompous capslockery pulsates through his sausage like fingers:
“PFFT YEH RIGHT! Typical gen Y, oh poor me poor me. When I was that age I bloody got a job, SHOCK HORROR! Didn’t rely on handouts or sook on the twitter BOO HOO WAAA WAAA. Needs a bloody boot up the backside if u ask me lol”.
Wise words from a man that entered an uncompetitive job market under the employ of his father. Besides, who wouldn’t want to follow in his footsteps? A man who stagnated in an ambitionless pool for 3 decades. A man who “bloody got on with it” rather than dared to remove the condom of complacency and bareback the shit out of his dream.
Panic comes over his face as he receives an email. He beckons his secretary in and demands a refresher course on how to deal with the bewildering situation. Thank fuck that crisis was averted. He can finally get back to his beloved Perthnow.
He spots an article that puts his heart under greater strain than his generation does the welfare system. “Home Ownership Out of Reach for Gen Y”. He can't believe this bullshit, what would an economist know anyway? Frank's from the University of Life.
“Well it isn’t bloody rocket surgery, STOP buying iPads, get a job and save up just like their bloody parents did. BUT NOOO, that would involve getting off Myspace and not vomiting all over Europe! Worthless”.
A Gen Y’er fires back, “we’re too busy paying for your lots healthcare and negative gearing to afford a deposit lad”.
Does this punk not know Frank owns 3 properties with a combined profit of negative $15k a year? He is a fucking tycoon. As for the healthcare strain, Frank is very happy with the public system thank you very much you HECS-debt'd shitcunt.
Well it’s clear what Gen Y’s problem is, they got their sense of entitlement from their elders.
fuckin gold
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean given I am Gen X that Gen Y can blame me for their sense of entitlement or did we skip a generation?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, "combined profit of negative $15k" is one of your best.
Frank drove home going 80 in the right lane and did not indicate and slowed to 70 300 metres before the exit where he breaks for an early amber whilst being 50cm from the stopline and then stops at a roundabout when a car is on the horizon.
ReplyDelete