Leederville Man's Grindr Account Distracts Him From Perth Glory Game

27 November 2013, 7:00pm

Toddy, 21, set out last Saturday afternoon to watch his beloved Perth Glory take on the Mariners in a must win match for the mighty Glory.

As soon as Toddy approached the stadium he felt his mobile phone vibrate constantly. He was receiving bulk notifications from his Grindr Account about the presence of other homosexuals at the soccer match.

Grindr is a gay/bi dating app that allows users to identify when they are in the same vicinity and provides a link to that persons profile.

In fact, the stadium was so densely populated with homosexuals, Toddy spent most of the match checking through the hundreds of profiles of the various poofs that caught his eye.

The Bell Tower Times spoke to Toddy, who was enjoying a Bailey's at the Garden in Leederville, he told us:

"Oh sugarsnaps. I missed the entire game. I was seriously bobbing in an ocean of cock and I felt like the luckiest Buoy in the water. I didn't even see any goals scored, it was a serious bummer".

While we were chatting to Toddy he received a text message. Toddy giggled and almost snorted some of his Bailey's through his nose, he told us that he had just received a text from the guy who hooked him up with the Perth Glory ticket, the text message said, "totes saw you on TV grinning at your Grindr lol, textbook Toddy xx". We assume Toddy has a history of this type of behavior.

Before we parted ways Toddy told us that he would just watch a replay of the game on Foxtel tonight while he trawled for more "wolverines" on the popular dating app.

Better luck next time Toddy.