Honeymooners: Every Public Toilet Booked Out During Canberra Gay Marriage Week

8 December 2013, 11:45am

Currently, it is legal for homosexual couples to get married in the ACT. The laws are currently being challenged by the Federal Government in the high Court.

The High Court of Australia is expected to hand down a ruling next week as to the legality of the ACT's same-sex marriage laws, the result of which, may render all same-sex marriages in the ACT void.

Despite the uncertainty, scores of homosexuals have tied the knot over the last week and are making the most of their marriages' legal status. Function rooms and public parks have been in high demand for the ceremonies and love is truly in the air.

An unexpected consequence of ACT's "gay marriage week" is the absolute inability for Canberra's residents to access and use the cities public toilets. Almost every single public toilet and public toilet block have been booked out by newly married homosexuals for their honeymoons. Some latecomers, have even made the commute to the Canberra Airport to spend a night of passion in their ablution facilities.

We spoke to Dylan, who married his partner on Saturday night, he told us:

"We decided to spend our night of passion in the toilets next to the State Library, it was a really magical evening. It was tough getting the booking, and I hate to admit that we had to offer the sanitation department a small bribe he he. They even changed the usual air-fresheners in the toilets to my husbands favorite cologne, Old Spice".

The spike in honeymooners booking the public toilets has caused inconvenience for some of Canberra's residents, as a poorly timed outbreak of gastro has hit the city. We understand that there have been many close calls, as citizens with "crook guts" have needed to make a desperate dash home or to their place of business to relieve themselves, before falling victim to their gastro.

We are told by our sources, that should the High Court uphold the ACT's same-sex marriage laws, then the city will invest heavily in additional portable toilets around the city to ease the pressure on the current facilities.

Happy gay-marriage week yall!