Paedophile Island - WA Government's Innovative Solution

5 September 2013, 2:30pm

Public outrage has been building over the early release of sex offenders back into the community in the spate of recent high profile crimes, such as the those committed by Ernest Bayly in Melbourne this year.

It is understood that Western Australia is considering an innovative new scheme to deal with the issue. Converting Garden Island from a useless naval base to a island for convicted paedophiles to occupy while on parole so that they can be properly integrated back into the community in due course.

Rock-spiders can bask in each others shame and learn how to function in a community while working and earning a basic wage. Their wages will be garnished and a portion will be allocated to their victims of families of their victims.

It is understood that training in basic trades and other skills may be offered to the cradle-robbing creeps. After all, they will  need to earn a living when they are reintegrated back into mainstream society, as frankly, Western Australian's find the idea of a paedo sitting around all day on Centrelink to be repugnant.

Critics claim that the cost of housing and training the sex offenders will be a drain on the tax payer. Nothing could be further from the truth. A society that invests in rehabilitating sex offenders properly is a society that cares about reducing re-offending.

It is anticipated that big business might capitalise on the situation and outsource some of their menial work to the island. We understand that a certain chicken chain is interested in outsourcing the production of its potato and gravy to the Island once the program is underway.

Residents of the Island will need to pass a strict review system before they are permitted to return to mainstream society. Essentially, the risk of re-offending must be negligible.

The Bell Tower Times welcomes the new grubby Island.