In 1859, Charles Darwin published The Origin of the Species, and hypothesised that life was dictated by the survival of the fittest and laid the foundation for the theory of evolution.
Evolution suggested that the human race would be propelled forward based on the prominence of its best and brightest. Modern day should have been a Utopian paradise, a product of the collective human experience, a new golden age.
In 2013, millions of screaming teenagers idolise a moronic dance craze known as "twerking". A dance movement that has dominated headlines both in the teenage world and mainstream "adult" media. Basically, the "twerking" craze is like the Macarena craze on steroids (and not performed by dirty old Italian men).
The obsession came to a surreal head at the recent VMA Music Awards, when a white-trash pop singer, Miley Cyrus, "twerked" up against nightclub sex-pest, Robin Thicke. Social media practically exploded and the incident was spread over the internet faster than herpes at one of Thicke's sex parties.
The "twerking" craze has led some scientists to question Darwin's timeless theory. A leading evolutionary biologist from a Perth University told the Bell Tower Times:
"It would appear that the human race isn't evolving like one would expect. It is astounding that some inane dance move demands more attention than any other event occurring in the world. I wont even bother writing an article about this, as no one will read it unless it is in a "tweet" format".The Bell Tower Times takes a contrary view. Perhaps dorky science nerds needs to swag up, grab a Redbull and shred it at the next Sets on the Beach.
Twerk it, yo.
Darwin's theory was doing fine until Justin Bieber came along. Twerking is just another nail in the coffin of his life's work.
If I 'twerked' with a monkey, would that help?
I think you could twerk with a Galapagos turtle. He might get a rise out of that.