Landscaper Loses Plot Trying to Swat a Fly Away From Mouth



29 October 2013, 6:30pm

Perth Landscaper, Marvin Smith, lost his composure today while trying to swat a fly away from his mouth.

Smith was constructing a limestone wall at a property in Bedford, when the rogue insect hovered around Smith's head and repeatedly landed on Smith's lip.

Onlookers reported that Smith's swatting became erratic and aggressive and the scene turned ugly when Smith put too much gusto into a swat and smashed his sunglasses from his head. It was at this point that Smith allegedly went troppo.

An eye witness told the Bell Tower Times that Smith's demeanor changed quickly and he began yelling obscenities and taking hay maker swings at the insect. He eventually made contact and was observed grinning maniacally at the remains of the insect smeared across his palm.

The raging storm brewing in Smith's heart  calmed down with the demise of the insect, and the landscaper returned to finish his limestone wall.

We warn members of the public to invest in insect repellent this summer, or you may make a spectacle of yourself too.


5 Readers Comments:

  • Shrieking Wombat Ninja says:
    October 29, 2013 at 7:24 PM

    Soooo, a bit like Don Randall and Rob Johnston then?

  • The Bell Tower Times says:
    October 29, 2013 at 7:31 PM

    go on?

  • Shrieking Wombat Ninja says:
    October 29, 2013 at 8:31 PM

    Can't find a link, but serial idiot Rob Jonston is having a go at Don Randall over his expense claims in today's Waste.

    In other news relating to stupit shit you couldn't possibly make up:

    "POLICE bomb experts have this morning blown up dangerous chemicals at Gloucester Park trotting track after nervous cops feared they might explode at Curtin House, the former police HQ.

    "Roads have been closed while police transported the dangerous chemicals from the city to Gloucester Park, where they were detonated in a series of small explosions.

    "The chemicals, seized in a drug raid yesterday, were shifted from Curtin House on Beaufort Street, to Gloucester Park under police and emergency services escort early today."

    http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/western-australia/dangerous-chemicals-to-be-exploded-at-gloucester-park/story-fnhocxo3-1226749477833

    I mean really, the Rozzers have no protocol for handling dangerous chemicals seized after drug raids?



  • The Bell Tower Times says:
    October 29, 2013 at 8:55 PM

    all amazing examples of the fine work our police do. We suspect that they operate under a "she'll be right" philosophy

  • Shrieking Wombat Ninja says:
    October 30, 2013 at 12:14 AM

    "I was proceeding along the High Street in a northerly direction when I observed the Accused wearing a face-mask and carrying a sack clearly marked SWAG..."

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