CrossFit is a fitness craze that is sweeping the nation and your average punter can find a class running every day of the week. The philosophy behind CrossFit is simple, have fun and exercise hard.
Brian Teller, 28, attends a local CrossFit class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. His personal goal is to tone up for summer and foster a healthier lifestyle. However, eyewitnesses report that his passion for the class is often confronting and uncomfortable for other participants.
CrossFit instructor, Russell, 24, told The Bell Tower Times:
"Fuck me. Brian. His intensity is unreal. Almost every class he will start foaming and drooling from the mouth while trying to push himself to the max. I remember one time I had to tell the lad to calm down because he was getting drool all over the other participants. He retaliated in a fit of passion and ripped his shirt off and punched a tyre".Class participant, Sue, 32, told us:
"He paid close attention during the first class ice-breaking session. He knows all our personal goals and he tries to motivate us in an aggressive and intense way. For example, when i was struggling to finish a set of pull ups he yelled 'thats not gonna get your wedding dress to fit is it love'... I suppose not".Patrick Cho, 27, told us:
"He can be a bit of a dickhead at times. He keeps referring to his intense sets as 'state level' and refers to our sets as 'high school seconds at best'... I don't even know what he means".Whether you can handle Brian's unique brand of intensity and aggression is irrelevant, he embodies everything that CrossFit is about.
Embodies everything Crossfit is about?
No, he sounds like a cunt.
I was going to suggest Appalling Bogan Dickhead. But yeah. Cunt.
Which aspect of his behavior causes you the most bother?
His general cunting cuntiness, I think.
Sue would take him in her mouth though, guaranteed
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