Samanfa's festival attire falls somewhere between “burning man” and “burning discharge”. Her hundred dollar baby braids are accompanied by a completely see-through dress which shows off her lacey underwear that appear to be having a fun day out cannoying in her crevice.
After Snapchatting every hour of her “road trip” to Bunbury the squad arrives at the gates. It is imperative that Samanfa “literally” gets a group photo with “these #10s” to show everyone on Instagram that today is “#goalsaf”. Needless to say, the photo is #lit fam.
She uploads the photo to the Gram and unleashes a weapon of yass-destruction:
“GTM with these fucking legends #yass #blessed #bunbury #gtm2017#festivalbitches #sunsoutbunsout #douth #lit #md #pineappleUDLS #10s #takemeback #coachella”
While cultivating her vibe, Samanfa spots her king sprinting through the crowd. A Bunbury local that puts the “dropped on the head at birth” in dropkick. The pied piper of poorcunts that has managed to wrangle a crew of cretins to charge the fence and boot any security guard's skull that gets in the way of meeting a potential #kween.
Now, you may consider someone who jumps a fence to a 16+ concert to be a bit of a loser, but don’t judge a book by its cover, because this particular loser is peng af apparently. Samanfa manages to find her king after he hobbles out of a portable toilet with the uncomfortable expression of a man who just shoved a pill up his kwan.
He eyes off Samanfa, “sup bae?” Oh me gee, he is wearing a homemade singlet. Samanfa blushes in lust, “nice rig bae". He simply turns around and double thumb points at his back. It’s his Snapchat details with “SEND NUDES” written on the bottom.
Despite being a cracking example for the need for 24 year retrospective abortions, she brings him over to her #squad. Without the need for any prompting, he shows the group the back of his singlet.
They are LITERALLY DYING, someone had better call the Colonel as there is a new zinger master in town.
