Mr Perth Road Rage



Most folks would value their freedom over headbutting a stranger’s windscreen. Not Jaxsin though, he carries on like a cashless Pauline Hanson at a cardless Asian deli.

Much like the anti-Halal Ronald McCuntold, Jaxsin’s ranting and raving makes him look like a total clown.

He starts his day like any other: honking on his yewww pipe in the car park of Chicken Treat Mirrabooka.

Now, Jaxsin doesn't let the fact he got fired 2 weeks ago stop him from wearing his Hi-Vis shirt. His professional appearance is what separates him from the other shard smouldering shit-wits.

On his way to the Thirsty Camel he finds himself stuck behind an elderly lady. Her deceleration is directly proportional to the accelerating fury in Jaxsin’s soul.

She slows down to almost a crawl and Jaxsin explodes like Barry Hall getting blue shelled by Brent Staker in a mario kart tournament.

He beats his steering wheel like a demented fist-drummer while spit-wailing the song of the unhinged lunatic.

He manages to remain in his vehicle and overtakes her like a one man high speed pursuit.

He can't stop thinking about the minor 5 seconds of inconvenience he endured. Needless to say, he is fucking worked up when a hatchback has the audacity to pull out in front of him.

Nevermind the fact the hatchy was a clear 75m ahead of him. To a vehicular neanderthal, pulling out is pulling out and the driver is about to learn the ways of Jaxsin’s knuckledragging justice.

He follows the car all the way to the lights and bursts out of his car like the load his mother should've swallowed.

He staunches out the car like an amphetamined-Ape at an inbred safari park,  “think you can farken cut me off punk? Ill make you ya farken piss dog!” He rips off the antenna and jumps on the bonnet like a scaly savage from Mad Max.

The driver pulls out his phone and begins filming the panel beating fuckery. Perfect footage too, you can see every drop of rage-spittle fly from his ever-rambling gob.

Now no one ever accused Jaxsin of being a genius, but getting filmed pummeling a car in your ex-employer's work shirt probably isn't the perfect crime.

Cool your jets Jaxsin ya turbo charged dickhead.

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