The Human Zoo - Mrs B l a c k Face




Krysteena-dior was sick of the politically correct pooftatership and was faced with a choice: bow to society’s voice and refrain from black facing her kid, or keep it Queen.


Welcome to another segment of, when keeping it Queen goes wrong.


Krysteena’s son had to dress as his favourite figure from literature for the school's book week. Now, would a book by any other name read the same? Is the West Coast Eagles injury list technically a book? In Krysteena’s eyes: absolutely. So the boy was going as Nic Naitanui.


Now, the boy kind of wanted to go as Harry Potter, but fuck that shit. Krysteena still had tons of black face paint from her other daughter’s 21st/5 year wedding anniversary and her husband's 50th.  


Ah, Macka’s 50th. The sheer surprise when he rolled in dressed like black Elvis. Sure, many people remember the king as being succinctly caucasian, but according to Macka, “ye, but he sung like one of that lot ay”.


Unfortunately, Krysteena’s leftard sense was tingling. She knew all those “shower dodging University communists” were going to have a problem with her little angel dressing like his idol. So she pitched the idea to the Farmvillers and Minion-memers that make up her FB list.


The feedback was a mixed bag. Some were offended, some said yes but most suggested that the idea was probably misguided. Meh, fuck the haters. She didn’t rise to the ranks of CEO of Mummy Inc by listening to others.


Krysteena’s award winning costume probably would’ve gone under the radar if she hadn’t decided to post it online. Thus from the seed of innocent intent grew a mighty shit-tree. Her stunt split public opinion like Nic Nat’s ACL.

Perthnow forums slowly simmered with a distinct pro-black face sentiment, while mainstream media played it out as the second coming of Colonel Sander’s lynching rope. The right’s raging yin to the left’s quivering yang.

Ultimately, the furore will be resolved the Perth way: call each other cunts until the issue fades and with any luck, learn nothing.




6 Readers Comments:

  • Unknown says:
    August 25, 2016 at 8:25 PM

    Probably the same kind of person who would claim global warming doesn't exit because it's cold today.

  • Anonymous says:
    August 25, 2016 at 11:58 PM

    In reality, black face is only racist in the US
    But in the last 10-15 years... at very most the past 20 years, it's been slowly growing as a form of racism in Australia... but still it's a form of racism against African Americans.... and incredibly rarely towards indigenous Australians!

    If i ran into someone with blackface here in Australia, and was a little surprised, i'd ask if it's relating to African Americans, if they say no. i'll let them go on their way!

  • Greggy says:
    August 26, 2016 at 4:03 PM

    One of the very times in the world a white kid has wanted to be black.

  • Unknown says:
    August 26, 2016 at 8:47 PM

    gee Anonymous your brave....please read this article and educate yourself furher............... https://overland.org.au/previous-issues/issue-199/feature-maxine-clarke/

  • Dan Carter says:
    August 29, 2016 at 3:56 AM

    It is ridiculous to assert that blackface is somehow not offensive to us because we are not the USA. Do we share any of their culture? Have you listened to any American music lately? Watched a television show? It's embarrassing when Americans have to point this out to the stupidest of us, and the too-common blanket response is "oh, what a stupid overreaction" just emphasises how clueless some people here are. The ignorance is strengthened and supported by large organised cultures like AFL fans, because their claims of wowserism and political correctness are echoed by a legion of like-minded ignorant people.

  • Anonymous says:
    August 29, 2016 at 6:26 PM

    "Krysteena’s award winning costume probably would’ve gone under the radar if she hadn’t decided to post it online."

    That is the key here. NONE of this would have happened if she had just not posted a single thing online.

    Her son could have painted himself black, she could be happy about it, and not a single person on facebook would ever find out and have anything to complain about. Win-win all round.

    Seriously, fuck social media.

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