The Human Zoo - Mrs B l a c k Face




Krysteena-dior was sick of the politically correct pooftatership and was faced with a choice: bow to society’s voice and refrain from black facing her kid, or keep it Queen.


Welcome to another segment of, when keeping it Queen goes wrong.


Krysteena’s son had to dress as his favourite figure from literature for the school's book week. Now, would a book by any other name read the same? Is the West Coast Eagles injury list technically a book? In Krysteena’s eyes: absolutely. So the boy was going as Nic Naitanui.


Now, the boy kind of wanted to go as Harry Potter, but fuck that shit. Krysteena still had tons of black face paint from her other daughter’s 21st/5 year wedding anniversary and her husband's 50th.  


Ah, Macka’s 50th. The sheer surprise when he rolled in dressed like black Elvis. Sure, many people remember the king as being succinctly caucasian, but according to Macka, “ye, but he sung like one of that lot ay”.


Unfortunately, Krysteena’s leftard sense was tingling. She knew all those “shower dodging University communists” were going to have a problem with her little angel dressing like his idol. So she pitched the idea to the Farmvillers and Minion-memers that make up her FB list.


The feedback was a mixed bag. Some were offended, some said yes but most suggested that the idea was probably misguided. Meh, fuck the haters. She didn’t rise to the ranks of CEO of Mummy Inc by listening to others.


Krysteena’s award winning costume probably would’ve gone under the radar if she hadn’t decided to post it online. Thus from the seed of innocent intent grew a mighty shit-tree. Her stunt split public opinion like Nic Nat’s ACL.

Perthnow forums slowly simmered with a distinct pro-black face sentiment, while mainstream media played it out as the second coming of Colonel Sander’s lynching rope. The right’s raging yin to the left’s quivering yang.

Ultimately, the furore will be resolved the Perth way: call each other cunts until the issue fades and with any luck, learn nothing.




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