Ms Anti-Vaccine

The Human Zoo - Ms Anti-Vaccine 

Living under a dumb-cunt rock her whole life, Karen was never fully equipped to wrap her head around the complexities of vaccine science. Karen’s life views are warped by a tinge of crazy, the sort of crazy you see from an American chanting at a Freedom rally. She simply will not entertain the notion that the delivery of a deactivated virus can have any long term health benefits. In her words, “there is nothing a vaccine can do that a healing crystal cant”. Fucking oath Karen.

Karen scoffs at a letter she received from her children’s school, “can you believe they want to inject our children with Autism Rodney?” Rodney is so outraged he accidentally ashes some of his cigarette into his 11am Wild Turkey & Coke. “They should keep their sticky beaks outta our business Kaz, my school never tried that shit”. Good point Rodney, although, you were home schooled by your “prepare for Y2K” parents. Karen chows down on half a Big Mac she’d forgotten to eat from last night, “I’m going down there and giving ‘em a spray!”

Karen jumps in her car and drives 100m down the road to get to her children’s school. She rampages into the administration office like a McMuffin-focused Gina Rinehart at 10:29am. She spots the vice principal and goes in for the kill. “Don't you be filling my kids head with lies, the bloody preservatives in vaccines are toxic!” The vice principal takes a deep breath, “look I am no expert, but contemporary medical advice recommends vaccinating children”. Karen starts frothing and foaming, “look mister, doctors once thought the Earth was square! Keep those syringes full of bacteria and AIDS away from my kids”. It all makes sense, Karen is the Galileo of reckless parenting.

Today's confrontation has left Karen feeling enraged. She sits on her computer and gets to work smashing a 2L bottle of Pepsi Max. She posts a poorly worded rant to her Facebook:

“LISTEN!!! My kids my choicessd, keepe yore MERCURY injections away or else. No ones business except mine and Rodneys. SO ANGRY!”

Karen's friend has had enough and points out that her choice to not vaccinate her children actually puts other children at risk. Waving the red flag of logic in front of a bucking bull of ignorance is a dangerous move. Karen hammers her keyboard only stopping to ensure her mouth is stuffed with cheese & bacon balls. She is plagiarising her arguments from a X-Files hacker-cunt who wrote his website in comic sans and warns repeatedly of a One World Government. She makes a fool of herself.

As flu season approaches, Karen’s child can rest easy, her healing crystals are giving off a particularly strong aura and she just imported some anti-influenza incense that will certainly ward off the nasty little buggers. All is safe in Karen’s Willy Wonka fantasy land.

16 Readers Comments:

  • Anonymous says:
    May 7, 2015 at 10:29 AM

    taking the piss out of hippies is fine, but there is room for debate on certain aspects of Vaccinations

  • Anonymous says:
    May 17, 2015 at 4:02 AM

    No there aint

  • Anonymous says:
    July 21, 2015 at 10:41 PM

    Theres room for debate from doctors and other people who have some sort or medical or atleast biology qualifications. People that failed science in high school can not possibly think they know more then a doctor it would be like waking mid surgery and telling your doctor that he should cut over there instead based on something you read in some dickheads blog because you know your life your choice where the nice goes

  • Anonymous says:
    September 5, 2015 at 12:28 AM

    No there isn't cunt

  • Anonymous says:
    September 5, 2015 at 1:01 AM

    r u retatded

  • Anonymous says:
    September 5, 2015 at 1:02 AM

    Ha ha...i guess that's that then...

  • Anonymous says:
    September 5, 2015 at 2:35 AM

    Lol. Retarted

  • Nathan Justice says:
    September 5, 2015 at 3:14 AM

    FIRST OF ALL IT ISN'T BIOLOGY QUALIFICATIONS. IT'S BIOLOGICAL!! Then again why are we even doing this?Just let humans die out.

  • mochucksmusings says:
    September 5, 2015 at 6:11 AM

    Only on the scientific level and if you don't understand that then fuck off.

  • Anonymous says:
    September 5, 2015 at 5:15 PM

    Leave the anti vaccine people alone. At some point you have to let Darwinism have its way. Do we really want them here in a few generations anyway?

  • Anonymous says:
    September 5, 2015 at 5:15 PM

    Leave the anti vaccine people alone. At some point you have to let Darwinism have its way. Do we really want them here in a few generations anyway?

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    October 11, 2015 at 7:31 PM

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  • taylamade64 says:
    May 6, 2017 at 7:33 PM


  • Anonymous says:
    May 6, 2017 at 8:15 PM

    The growing mob of pig-ignorant anti-vaxxers, who think they should even be listened to continues to disgust those of us are capable of logical thought. Maybe if polio makes a big comeback these idiots will change there (small)minds.

  • Chris Lees says:
    May 6, 2017 at 8:32 PM

    There is always room to discuss vaccine safety. However, complaining about aluminium being in the vaccines because it's a "neurotoxin" while drinking from a can of Coke, or saying things like "It's made in a lab, so it can't possibly be good for you" is not a vaccine safety discussion. It's a discussion about stupidity.

  • Anonymous says:
    May 8, 2017 at 8:05 PM

    I doubt any true anti-vaxer would eat a big mac and skull a 2L bottle of Pepsi...

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