Alison has been giggling and OMG’ing about Friday’s Halloween bash for the past 3 weeks. She has visited 6 different costume stores in an effort to find the perfect slutty-devil outfit that both favours her hips and accentuates her carefully tanned bust.
She eventually settles on a costume that screams: naughty, sexy and anally-keen. Oh her “rents” would be so proud. Nevertheless, it’s the 31’st of October and despite being a totally redundant Australian event, Alison will apply the KY Jelly of immodesty and slip her way into her male friend’s wank-banks.
Alison powers down Yellowglen Pink with strawberries while power-yapping at the gaggle of fellow hens about her ambitions for the evening, “um, like, once Evan sees me, he is totally going to regret hooking up with that slut Beth hey”.
Alison spends 45 minutes in front of the mirror practicing her sexy pout face and taking selfies. She waks in a couple of chicken fillets and ditches her pink lace g-string. She has a niggling feeling that she still isn’t “saucy” enough, so she deploys her emergency plan: a pair of thick brimmed hipster glasses: oh yeh, the slutty nerd devil. Ticked every box. Watch out Evan.
Alison spends most of the party posing for group photos with her girls. She is very careful not to involve herself with any photos involving that hot asian chick dressed like a tasteful angel. Her tanned skin is perfectly contrasted against the white angel costume, “um, guys only like her because they think she will give them a rub and tug and like totally suck them off for citizenship”, Alison racistly slurs from her red lipstick smeared mouth.
She receives a text from Evan, “can't make it, have fun x”. Woah nelly, the news sends Alison into a tail-spin and she starts slamming back Bacardi Breezers and asking for drags of random bloke’s darts. By 11pm she has already cried three times and is sitting on an outside couch. Her three closest friends try to console her while she hysterically expresses her drunkenness is a loud and unreasonable fashion. Her mascara is running, her heels are off and she hasn’t taken a selfie in 35 minutes: this shit is a fucking emergency yo!
Alison rejects advances from dudes dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow and Zombies. That is until she gets the ingenious idea to make Evan jealous by posing seductively with as many boys as possibly and immediately posting the photos to social media. Alison makes a complete drunk hoe of herself while seedy party-goers circle her like sexually frustrated vultures.
Alison eventually passes out in the corner of the backyard and is escorted to a bed by her irritated friends. If only Evan knew what he was missing…
*in a loud and unreasonable fashion
As many boys as *possible
Sorry not sorry.
When you write this well you get to create your own grammar