1. Witnessing more drenched Monster caps and Jet Pilot attire than at a buck’s party with a squirting show. As everyone knows an umbrella is a gateway item to full blown scarfery

2. Losing your fucking mind at the legions of nervous nancys that will be driving further below the speed limit than a stoned sloth trying to find the Hungry Jack’s turn off. 

3. Dodging “overcompensatin’ Owen” who will be leaving more skitz skidz in his Chev-badged Commodore than Trump’s grundies after eating some Taco Bell made extra “special” for him.

4. Sighing at a minion sharing full-time mummy that will be posting storm warnings to secure your backyard from the devastating horror of the inevitable overturned pot plants.

5. Listening to some turmeric-latte sipping shithead who will be banging on about Perth only being good for its weather and he’ll be looking into one way Jetstar tickets to Melbs mahn

6. Noting a social Influencer likes-drought due to being unable conduct their hoe-to shoots on a boat or beach. Not to fear, they will be Introducing, throw back Fridays, as the wankening silence is terrible to their brand.

7. Witnessing multi-car pile ups, as a little drizzle turns our roads into a mechanical rendition of the Human Centipede.

8. Being forced to listen to your FIFO mates tell you how it’s “fuck all” and they worked for 78 hours straight in a Pilbara monsoon in nothing but a Hi-Vis shirt with no break.

9. Noting no change in the work ethic of road-workers.

10. Knowing or being the cunt that still has his sprinklers turned on because how can there be a water crisis when his local servo is offering 2 for 1 on 600ml Mount Franklins ay?

6 Readers Comments:

Post a Comment

Have your say