What the 2016 Census Revealed about WA

  1. The fastest growing occupation in the Western suburbs was “entrepreneur, influencer, CEO, model, vegan, crossfitter, blessed <3”, which experienced a 155% spike yet had the lowest average recorded income across the board.

  1. There was a 70% increase in the number of people whom, after recording “law”, “engineering”, “aviation” or “medicine” as their field of study, also highlighted, underlined and asterixed the answer.

  1. Perth is officially Australia’s leader of mortgage related stress. A statistic that experts are strongly linking to outbreaks of Bali ash clouds, interest from Cashies loans and of course the state’s millennials crippling addiction to avocado & toast based brunches.  

  1. WA’s religion is officially, “Islam is not a Race”, with a staggering 70% of the outer suburban populace scribbling this new faith next to the “other” option.

  1. Australia’s population’s ancestry is edging closer to being more Asian than European. A state of affairs widely believed to be due to the condomless ejaculate of cashed up miners sowing their wild oats in South East Asia during the peak of the boom.

  1. The percentage of English and New Zealand migrants continue to grow despite whiney claims at bars and sites requiring scaffolding that their homelands are superior to Australia in every way.

  1. There was a sharp 95% spike in “address of employer” being recorded as “HOME” which correlated coincidently with the 95% spike in those pursuing a career in BOSS @ FULL TIME MUMMY.

  1. English remained the most common language spoken at home, although with the rise of text based communication and leftards writing fake news, the second most prolific language understood at home was “Caps lock”.

  1. In a shock to statisticians, male & female still appear to be the two most prominent sex-groups. However a staggering 88% of the arts degree population refused to tick a box and corrected the ABS’ assumption. Accordingly, no two person’s self indulgent description of their biology was the same.

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