First things first buddy, Chris’ taste in music is pedigree, and yours is supermarket brand chum. He could’ve been in Tame Impala if he kept up his lessons, and you probably think King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard is a Harry Potter book, fucking pleb.
See when Chris posts his top 10 predictions on social media he isn’t posting who WILL win, even though he totally knows, rather he is posting who SHOULD win. It's a goddamn service to humanity, move over Schindler, this list is a beacon of hope.
Chris is an absolute elite amongst people who rely on a single radio station to inform their musical taste, so he takes it upon himself to let others know why their lists are the equivalent of a Friday afternoon Buzzfeed listicle written by a half-drunk intern,
“Kendrick? Drake?? OMG man did you write your list in crayon ha ha, no chance champ, oh and San Cisco lel, 2018 called they want their prediction back man ha ha”
Woah nelly, you are going to need an entire bottle of White King to disinfect your comments section after that outbreak of opinionated golden Staphylo-cuntus.
True to form, Chris spends the remainder of his day slicing and dicing his friend’s predictions like a Teppanyaki treble-clef-chef on crack. He is so incensed by the ignorance he decides he will run a full masterclass is musical taste. He posts the full 100. Fucks sake.
Now, the Hottest 100 is extra special for Chris these days. Not only does Chris get to ram his musical opinions past your tonsils but he also gets a second opportunity to pretend he is an Indigenous activist. Firstly by using the #changethedate hashtag on the 26th and, secondly by using it again on the 27th, when he inevitably informs everyone why the results of the poll were totally wrong.
Of course, after the 27th you won’t hear much from Chris about the plight of our nation’s first people, but unfortunately, you will probably keep hearing about why your taste in music is a steaming pile of shit.
0 Readers Comments:
Post a Comment
Have your say