Businessman Envies Group of Hobos Getting Drunk on a Monday Afternoon

24 September 2013, 11:10am

Roger Goldburg, 32, works long hours at one of Perth's top investment banking firms. He studied for 6 years at the University of Western Australia and has gained valuable experience during a series of internships in New York and London.

By all accounts, Goldburg is a roaring success. A man who bought himself a Rolex at the age of 26 and a BMW at the age of 30. He demands the respect from his peers and fends off pretty ladies with a stick when he is hitting the cities hottest bars.

On 23 September 2013, Goldburg was having a stressful day and decided to take a walk around the city. He walked through the Supreme Court Gardens and spotted a group of hobos drinking from bottles in brown paper bags and engaging in gratuitous horseplay. Goldburg sat on a bench watching the hobos and was struck with a immense feeling of envy. Goldburg told the Times:
"I am stuck in my office all day, dealing with corporate wankers and fucking emails. I watched the hobos for about an hour... they were free... they were getting sauced at 3pm on a Monday afternoon. My colleagues would see them and think they are pathetic pieces of shit, not me, I longed to be with them".
Goldburg went back to work, but couldn't get the images of the derelict men out of his head. On 24 September 2013, Goldburg decided to indulge his fantasy. He made his way to the IGA Liquor on Hay Street at 11:00am and purchased a long neck of Woodstock and Cola in a brown paper bag. He made his way down to the Supreme Court Gardens, took a seat at a bench and suckled upon the nectar of his new found freedom.

Goldburg plans to schedule in a "freedom drink" at least once or twice per week. He believes that the practice helps keep him grounded  in the sleazy corporate world that he flourishes in .

If you are working long hours in an office, perhaps consider how a little drinky-winky in the park could benefit your life.