As the Federal Election looms, voters have been warned to avoid
looking directly at Clive Palmer while he delivers his campaign speeches, or
risk falling into a pro-Palmer trance.
Body language expert, Craig Smith, told the Times:
“Clive has always maintained a husky figure to further his mining career. His gut and turkey-neck jiggle in such a way, that anyone speaking to Clive falls into a trance-like state and becomes agreeable to what Clive says.
The best way to explain it is, if you sit at a desert buffet, you will take particular notice of the bowl of jelly. The way it moves demands your attention. Clive is that bowl of jelly”.
Palmer’s hypnotic qualities may come as no surprise to the
Australian public. Recently, Palmer convinced investors to back a venture to
re-build a fully working replica of the Titanic. A ship intimately connected
with memories of ship-wreck, tragedy and death. Conclusive proof that Palmer
has pulled the fat over investor’s eyes.
It has also been suggested that Tony Abbott’s cackle and
Kevin Rudd’s constant stream of bullshit may also have hypnotic qualities.
The Bell Tower Times suggests voters close their eyes when
Palmer delivers his campaign speeches and focus on the verbal-sewerage coming
out of his mouth.
Happy voting all.
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