Craig Thompson Introduces Prostitute Allowance Bill Into Parliament

13 August 203, 7:00am

Embattled independent MP, Craig Thompson has stunned Parliament by attempting to introduce the Politician Prostitute Allowance Bill 2013, that would allow our nations pollies to claim up to $5000.00 per week on escort, strip club and massage services.

Political analysts suspect that the Bill, dubbed "Thompsons Law", is a desperate last ditch attempt for Thompson to clear his name over allegations he used a Union credit card to engage the services of prostitutes while at HSU.

The Bill is intended to operate retroactively, and also apply to the heads of Unions. Therefore, if the Bill became law, Thompson would be cleared of all charges pending against him.

A spokesperson for the Federal Parliament told the Bell Tower Times that the Bill was subjected to vigorous debate and aggressively supported by some members of the Parliament. A Labour MP (identity concealed), reportedly told Parliament:

"Once again, Thommo is ahead of his time. This Bill is vital... if politicians are forced to use the services of cheap street-walkers, then we will miss Parliamentary sitting time while we get treated for STD's and encourage embezzlement when we need to scrounge together some hush money".
Other MP's stormed out of Parliament in apparent disgust and anger at the proposed reform.

At this stage, the Bill is unlikely to become law, however some MP's are hopeful that a watered down version of the Bill can slip through. An unnamed MP told the Times:

I am happy to compromise and see the total allowance reduced. For example, we can drop the $50.00 per week allocated for condoms, as I don't use condoms anyway".
At least the Australian public aren't the only ones getting fucked.


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