Perth Zoo to House Gina Rinehart

14 August 2013, 7:00am

Perth Zoo is abuzz with excitement, as Colin Barnett recently announced he would pledge $1 million dollars to help relocate and build a suitable enclosure for Gina Rinehart at the Perth Zoo.

Perth Zoo, spokesman told the Times:

"We will be the first Zoo in the world to house a parasitic land mammal. We will convert the elephant pen into a specialised enclosure. Probably with some additional reinforcement though".

Rinehart's natural habitat, the coal fields, have been threatened by economic instability and the invasion of lawyers into her personal affairs. The flow on effect from the destruction of her habitat has led to arrogant comments about the Australian working class and a prolonged attempt to eat her young.

 It is feared that unaided, Rinehart will continue to make an ass of herself in the public spotlight.

Perth Zoo plans to offer Rinehart a state-of-the-art breeding program. As Rinehart feeds off her children's money, it is essential that Rinehart produces more offspring so that she may have enough resources to survive. It is believed Tony Abbott has volunteered himself for the program.

Twiggy Forest has volunteered one of his front end loaders to assist with the relocation, adding "good riddance". 

12 Readers Comments:

  • Anonymous says:
    August 13, 2013 at 9:24 PM

    somebody gonna get sued.


  • The Bell Tower Times says:
    August 13, 2013 at 9:53 PM

    Please don't sue us anonymous.

  • Anonymous says:
    August 14, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    You deserve to be sued. It's slander.

  • The Bell Tower Times says:
    August 14, 2013 at 4:31 PM

    You need to acquaint yourself with satire sir. Nothing defamatory about it.

  • Anonymous says:
    August 20, 2013 at 4:37 AM

    Keep up the good work BTT.

  • Anonymous says:
    August 20, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    Bahahaha !!!

    August 20, 2013 at 10:11 AM

    somebody is going to get sued.. her natural habitat is iron ore not coal fields. jesus

    fat greedy bitch

  • The Bell Tower Times says:
    August 20, 2013 at 4:30 PM

    Hello Ms Rionhart. Your company mines both. You must be too busy trying to feed off your young.

  • Anonymous says:
    August 21, 2013 at 5:25 AM

    Pity we cant post pix, have an excellent collection of this endangered species

  • Anonymous says:
    August 22, 2013 at 7:58 PM

    No one is going to pay to see a dog enclosure. Most of us have a neighbor with one already. And don't start with "bit this one is obese and ugly" because no one wants one of those.

  • The Bell Tower Times says:
    August 22, 2013 at 11:59 PM - we can handle your photos sir

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