Indonesian Spying Scandal: Diplomatic Solution - President Takes a Valium and a Jack & Coke

21 November 2013, 5:15pm

Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, has written Australia Prime Minister Tony Abbott a letter demanding an explanation of why his telephone was tapped a number of years ago. 

President Bambang has even gone so far to "downgrade" Australia's relationship with Indonesia and refuse to pledge military assistance to deal with the issue of asylum seekers fleeing war torn countries. 

We note that many Australian's are unaware that Indonesia (or Bali, as its commonly known) kept a ranking system on fellow nations. 

Whether Indonesia has overreacted to the scandal or not is a matter of debate, however there is a growing sentiment in Australia that President Bambang just needs to bang down a couple of Valiums, enjoy a cool glass of Jack & Coke and fuckin' relax. 

It is understood that President Bambang has also written scathing letters to Google for keeping records of his unique pornographic fetishes (ironically, involving naked woman writing letters) and a letter to NASA expressing his fury over the Associations' satellites that hover over the Earth, which conveniently includes Indonesia. 

If you have any chill pills or bottles of silky smooth Jacks to spare, send them via Jakarta, and let this whole shit storm blow over.

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