Regrettable: Man Snorts Line of Cocaine Before Interview

28 November 2013, 9:15am

Yesterday, Tony, 26, was preparing for an interview with one of Perth's prestigious marketing firms.

Tony's interview was at 10:30am, so he started his day with a boxing session, a solid breakfast of left over Nando's chicken and a quick call to his mother for a little inspiration.

Tony's preparation was going swimmingly, until he made the regrettable decision to snort a fat line of cocaine to "take the edge off".

An anonymous source from the marketing firm told The Bell Tower Times that Tony arrived at his interview 5 minutes late and was noticed breathing heavily and staring intensely at various objects in the room. Sadly, Tony's late arrival was not his only faux pas during the hour long interview, according to our source, Tony also:

1. At the beginning of the interview held an unbroken 7 second stare at the female interviewer.

2. Applied lip balm 18 times.

3. Spoke at length about his amateur boxing when asked what skills he could bring to the firm.

4. Made 3 jokes about wanting a cigarette

5. Drank the entire jug (1.5L) of water.

6. At one point his face resembled something that would eat its own young.

7. Sweated profusely (despite air-conditioning).

The Bell Tower Times asked Tony what he was thinking:
"In hindsight, the choice to snort that charlie was a misguided and regrettable. My guy usually gives me pretty weak blow, so I thought it was just going to pep me up. Little did I know he gave me some fucking scar-face shit. I cant confirm, but I may have made a fool of myself". 
 Needless to say, Tony got the job, as the Managing Director of the firm not only shared Tony's cocaine dealer, but was also a mate of his dads.

For the uninitiated, this is how the corporate world works.
 

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