Sorrento Seal Actually an Overweight American Tourist

It was incorrectly reported last week that a large male elephant seal had made Sorrento Beach its temporary home to recover from hunting further off shore. 

The alleged seal was dubbed "Steven Sealberg" and has attracted scores of gawkers and one member of the public was so bold as to slap the mighty creature on the backside. 

The only problem is, Sealburg is actually an overweight American tourist named Bob Jackson, who has been trying to enjoy the beach and tan his 150kg frame. 

The Bell Tower Times spoke to Jackson, who told us about the mix-up:
"I thought yall Aussies were just curious to meet a real freedom-loving American. I thought it was a little rude that they kept calling me an elephant seal, but they were throwing fresh fish my way, so I thought what the hell, I'll play the part. I fly back to Florida on Wednesday, but figure I can get a few more buckets of scraps and maybe one of those purdy little green peace chicks will come and hug me again ha ha".
The news comes as no surprise to many, given that Australian's have enjoyed watching fat Americans on television for many years. The startling revelation also throws into question the collective intelligence of Perthians living in the City's northern suburbs -  are the northerners dumb? Or have the burger-loving yanks come to resemble large sea mammals?

What a time to be alive.

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