Unemployed Mans Touching Tribute to Phillip Seymour Hoffman

3 February 2014, 11:00am

Charlie "Storming" Norman has vowed to refrain from any proactive job search activity until he has watched the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman's entire body of films back to back.

Hoffman has stared in over 60 films and Stormin Norman has spent the last of his Centrelink payment on a formidable stash of Jim Beam & Coke and Doritos Nacho Cheese corn chips. Stormin' Norman expects the marathon will take up at least 2 weeks of his life.

Stormin' Norman lost his job as a telemarketer 5 years ago and since then has struggled to break into the job market. Friends and family close to him claim it is due to his complete lack of ambition and startling ability to embrace the mediocre, in his words, "Frankly, I like the taste of Coles brand frozen food and the whole vibe of this layabout lifestyle". 

Stormin' Norman has remained unemployed for so long in part due to his ability to convince Centrelink that he is trying. Last month he applied for over 25 jobs - little do Centrelink know that he sabotaged each application in unique ways - drawing in crayon, blowing marijuana smoke into the envelope or including a little doodle of a swastika in his application.

We wish Stormin' Norman he best in his tribute to one of the finest actors of our time.

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