WA Government Launches Campaign Against the "Scoundrel's Kick"

31 January 2014, 8:30am

Move over "Cowards Punch" there is a new sheriff in town - the devastating and potentially lethal "Scoundrels Kick" - the low gutless act of kicking a man in his lollybags.

The Scoundrel's Kick has rose to infamy over he last couple of years after a spate of high profile attacks in Northbridge, Fremantle and Subiaco. Angry, steroid-using, knuckle-dragging turbos have been delivering unprovoked and vicious kicks to innocent men's dick 'n' balls.

The true devastation of the Scoundrel's Kick was felt when WA was shocked by the news that Brian Tran, 28, required emergency surgery on his nuts after being Scoundrel Kicked at the Stereosonic Festival in 2012. The offender was infamously given a suspended sentence while Brian continues to live with a weak ball sack.

With the help of spokesman, Clive Waterhouse (a famously ball-less footy player)  the WA Government will launch add campaigns to remind the public that kicking someone in the nuts without any justification is a "bad thing". The motto of the campaign is "A Low Blow Will Get 'You 'Fo (4)" - believed to appeal to youth for using African American Hip Hop slang - meaning you will get a mandatory 4 year term of imprisonment for a Scoundrel Kick. 

We contacted Brian Tran to ask him what he thought about the campaign:

"I think its a worse reflection on the Government hey. Sure, people are getting Coward Punched and Scoundrel Kicked on the occasion, but what about diverting that money into stopping burglaries, robberies and domestic violence - you  know - the shit that effects almost everyone everyday? Seems like smoke and mirrors to me - get the people to worry about a kick to the nuts to take the focus away from the fact that the police didn't even rock up to take fingerprints when your car got broken into".

Hmm, good point Brian. In contrast, this statement was released from the spokesman of the Premier's Office:

"Alcohol-fueled Scoundrel Kicks are the biggest problem our State faces. We make no apologies for taking a tough stance and spending tax payer money to convince people that unprovoked ball kicking is bad and they shouldn't do it'. 

Blimey, we will be wearing a cricket-style balls protector from now on.