Office Snitch Exposed As A Catfish

19 May 2014, 7:00am

Dwayne Conelley, 32, has a fierce reputation as the Office snitch at the IT firm he works for.

In 2013, Dwayne successfully informed on 12 employees for indiscretions ranging from drinking at lunchtime to stealing printing paper for personal use.

In early 2014, Dwayne changed the way he snitched. He was no longer satisfied with  being at the "right place at the right time", he decided to become a snitch detective and go out of his way to "bust" his work mates.

Dwayne entered the dangerous world of Catfishing. He set up a fake Facebook, Instagram and Twitter profile using the photo of an attractive young lady. He found that it wasn't difficult to get a bunch of lonely IT nerds to accept his friend requests.

Dwayne wasn't shy to say the least, he told The Bell Tower Times:

" I would lead the conversations towards sex and vice. I struck gold on my first day of Catfishing. The intern told me that he often masturbated in the office toilet after he spoke to an attractive female client of the firm. Needless to say, I informed on him the following day. He was taken off that file and I volunteered to replace him".

 We put it to Dwayne that his catfishing could be considered horrible, he responded:

"some men get ahead on merit and others by Catfishing. I was able to facilitate a confession from Max, regarding the pilfering of a bottle of Jack Daniels at the office Christmas party. I informed on that prick too. I didn't really get anything from that, but fuck them for excluding me from the drinking of it".

 It seems that Catfishing is now the most powerful tool in a snitches arsenal.