Doctor Prescribes Himself a Can of Coke and a Cigarette

8 October 2013, 7:00am

On Monday, Dr Khano, 37, worked a 15 hour shift in the Emergency Department at one of Perth's major hospitals.

At the end of his shift, Dr Khano felt physically and mentally drained. Seeing as its now frowned upon for Doctors to dip into the Hospital's medicine cabinet, Dr Khano dealt with his ailment the only way he knew how: slopped out his prescription pad and prescribed himself a well earned dart and can of ice cold Coca Cola.

Dr Khano was seen walking from the hospital to his car nearby, savoring every sip of the black delicious and sucking on his cigarette like it had just paid him $50.00 in a back alley. Onlookers report that Dr Khano was in a state of bliss.

The Bell Tower Times contacted Dr Khano to ask him why he ignored all contemporary medical advice, and relied upon nicotine and sugar to deal with stress, he told us:

"A lot of people are confronted by the idea that a doctor would smoke or drink coke. We are only human, and this human just needed to take the edge off. Back in the old days, a doctor would just bribe a nurse to hook him up to an IV drip full of valium and then the doctor would masterbate himself calm. Those days are over". 

 Not all of Dr Khano's peers agree with his unhealthy stress relief strategy. A doctor who wished to remain anonymous told The Bell Tower Times:

"You will never see me smoke. I simply squeeze into my Lycra, cycle home (aggressively) and then lather myself in relaxing oils while looking at my many certifications and degrees. I get high of my own self-satisfaction. That is the true doctors way"

 Hmm. We don't know about you, but we prefer Dr Khano's strategy.