Critical: Perth Man Overdoses on Christmas Ham

28 December 2013, 11:00am

The sound of an ambulance's siren filled the air in Rivervale last night as paramedics rushed to Russel Mixon's home to revive the young man after suffering an overdose of Christmas ham.

Mixon's girlfriend, Cindy, made the panicked call after Mixon was found slumped over in the bathroom. Cindy had told The Bell Tower Times;
"We bought a 8KG Dorsogna ham for Christmas. At the time I knew it was a lot of ham,but I guess we figured that we would have more guests over. Russ ended up consuming over a kilo a day. at first it was a little slice here and there, but last night, I found him at 7pm with the ham in his hands and just burying his face into it like an animal....not long after he collapsed".
Paramedics told Cindy that Russell needed his stomach pumped to try and rid his body of the large amounts of salt, glaze and fat from the 6KG of ham he had consumed over the previous 4 days. Paramedics where in shock when they discovered an enormous 2KG of ham in Mixon's stomach, claiming it was the most startling case of ham abuse they had ever seen and that it was a miracle that Mixon had survived.

We spoke to Mixon while he was in bed recovering from the ordeal, he told us:
"wooooo! What a rush. Man I was just on that glazed shit, thought I was invincible. The doctors tell me I need a detox. No shit, I'll toss your salad for real, if you smuggle me a little slice, c'mon man."
The Bell Tower Times does not support addiction and Mixon's tempting offer was no exception.


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