Yum: Perth Prisoners Make Petrol Station Sandwiches

19 December 2013, 8:30am

If you ever wondered why your petrol station sandwich tasted so unpalletable, it would be on account of the secret ingredient: the sweat and tears of Perth's incarcerated.

A significant portion of petrol station sandwiches in Perth are hand-made by inmates residing in our high security prisons.  A revelation which is sure to shock servo-cuisine devotees to the core.

The Bell Tower Times spoke to an industry insider who blew the lid on this culinary tragedy:

"The last thing I would ever eat would be a servo sanga. I've spoken to people connected with Perth's high security prisons, and they told me that the inmates can earn up to $2.00 per hour making the sandwiches. It all gets pretty alarming when you think to yourself - how do they spread the mayonnaise without being able to use a knife?".

A sobering thought indeed. It stands to reason, that the high security inmates would be required to literally spread the mayonnaise, butter and other condiments on, with their bare hands. We spoke to a former Hakea prisoner, who has admitted to making sandwiches while in prison, Gus, 42, told the BTT:

"The gravity of the situation hit me when I was first released. I saw a mother buy a BLT from a petrol station  for her kid. I remember when I was pissed off at the guards I would "season" the sandwich materials - in prison "seasoning" is the act of playing with your balls for a few minutes before handling the sandwich shit. In the slammer, it was just a way to get buy ya know? But in real life, it's all a bit grotty. Then again, if you are eating food from a petrol station, aren't you kinda in your own personal prison anyway?".

We asked Gus whether he would ever consider eating a petrol station sandwich, he told us:

 "Mate, I'd rather have a crack at the cheese kransky thats been sitting in the bain-marie since 10am".

We tried to contact Hakea prison for comment, however we were told that the inner dealings of the prison were confidential and they would not be making any statement.

Food for thought.