Malcolm "Megabyte" Turnball: Australia's Wealthy Need the NBN More

17 April 2014, 8:00am

"Lets face facts, people living in poor suburbs should use their Centrelink payments more carefully and farmers should really be tending to their crops or whatever they do" - Malcolm Turnball at a fundraising dinner in January 2014.

To say the Coalition has made a meal of the NBN would be an understatement. Malcolm "Megabyte" Turnball has fronted the media countless times and mumbled off some vague horse-crap about "nodes", "contractor issues" and inexplicably referring to the internet as Netscape Navigator. To be fair, we almost feel sorry for the man - he reminds us of our dads when they used to call up iiNet and ask why the modem wasn't connecting - clueless and lost. 

We could almost forgive Malcolm personally, if it wasn't for his bizarre attitude that affluent Australian suburbs should be given priority in NBN installation, as: "it will be fucking expensive mate, the unwashed masses can't afford it". 

It seems Malcolm is content on losing the hearts and minds of many marginalised groups in Australia. In March, he famously took to Twitter and told a woman living in rural Victoria, that she shouldn't have bought a house in an area that didn't have access to broadband internet. Malcolm may have had a decent point - if his job wasn't to BRING THE INTERNET TO ALL AUSTRALIANS. His comments show a level of defeat and malaise that causes a nation to doubt his competency for the job.

We approached Malcolm at the Boatshed in Cottesloe while he was in Perth for a conference. He told us that "uniting Netscape Navigator with the poor is a tough ask, but he will give it a crack".

Christ almighty Turnball.

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