O'Callaghan Suspects Son of Lindt Bunny Theft

20 April 2014, 8:30am

Karl O'Callaghan has commenced a house-wide manhunt for his son, who he suspects flogged his Lindt Bunny that he was saving for Easter Sunday.

Russell O'Callaghan has had a checkered history with the law, with crimes ranging from shit facial hair to blowing up a meth-lab in a suburban neighborhood. Despite Russell's criminal past, he believes the accusations that he stole his dad's chocolate is a result of police profiling:
"Sure, blame the deadbeat son. There were at least 20 people over last night. Including that human garbage disposal Troy Buswell. Anyone could've flogged the old boy's chocky. The idea that I would steal food would assume that I am interested in eating. I've been up since Thursday mate, not hungry in the slightest".
Karl has taken a "take no prisoners" approach to the suspected theft. Executing a targeted raid on his son's room at 7:45am this morning.  Unfortunately, the raid proved fruitless. Karl told the BTT:
"I don't know where the little bugger has stashed my bunny. All I found were cigarettes and an impressive collection of light bulbs. I will be making further inquiries and that little shit wont be getting any of the Easter seafood platter until that bunny is back in my possession".
Tensions are running high at the O'Callaghan household. In an attempt to calm the situation down, Karl's wife reportedly ran to the shops and got Karl a Smarties Easter Egg. Karl was later witnessed pulling the egg apart and claiming the individual smarties represented a piece of his broken heart.

Suck it up Karl.

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