Twerk for the Dole Scheme Introduced

14 April 2014, 3:00pm

The perfect storm has been brewing for years - a generation of Swag kids who have turned their back on traditional education and opted for a YOLO lifestyle. In reality, the YOLO lifestyle has produced a generation of unemployable kids with C.V's as unimpressive as the state of Troy Buswell's grundies.

The Australian Government has responded with the Twerk for the Dole scheme. Unemployed teenagers can now use their swag to good use and volunteer in Government funded dance classes that are designed to combat childhood obesity.

In return for teaching young school children to dance the unemployed teenagers will be eligible for the Newstart Allowance of approximately $270 per fortnight - which is a small fortune for anyone who spends the majority of their money on Obey caps and imitation jewelry.

The Twerk for the Dole scheme is a double edged sword for the Australian people - on the one hand it demonstrates the Governments commitment to giving young punks a work ethic and at the same time combat childhood obesity. On the other hand, the Australian public needs to concede that the "Twerk" and "Swag" movements have infiltrated our once proud country.

For the time being, Twerking may be the youths only salvation.