30 Year Old Still Gots What it Takes for Stereosonics

10 July 2013, 7:48pm

30 year old Dianella resident, Dino Gnoccicelli, still believes he can throw down and party as hard as any other reveler at this years Stereosonic music festival.

Dino embarks on a grueling daily regime of creatine protein shakes, intense personal grooming and a reckless abandon at the cities best tanning beds. Simply put by Dino: "ya gotta be fresh, bra".

Dino told the Bell Tower Times:
"i used to be king dick of the festival scene and letting go has been tougher than expected... man i just want to go out with a bang... I used to get so much ass man".

Dino is expected sweat up a storm and make the sea of 18 year olds uncomfortable with his misguided enthusiasm and his sex offender gaze. There is absolutely no chance that Dino will keep his shirt on.

The Bell Tower Times suggests revelers steer clear of this ageing menace and don't leave him alone with your opened drink.

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