Tour de France Sends Riders Into Frenzy

10 July 2013, 4:05pm

Perth motorists are being warned to exercise caution on the roads after the Tour de France kicked off last week. Commissioner of Police,  Karl O'Callaghan, released the following media statement today:

"The Tour really sends these bike enthusiasts over the edge. Motorists are warned to exercise extreme caution around Mounts Bay Road, Stirling Highway and  all coastal roads... people out for a coffee on a Sunday morning are also warned that Cafe's will be infested with stomach churning Lycra and the stench of smugness".

The Bell Tower Times hit the streets of Perth and asked the residents how they planned to deal with the influx of pelaton wankers throughout the duration of the Tour de France:

  • Barry "Mad-Dog" Kerns from Kwinana says he will probably need physiotherapy on his middle finger by the months end;
  • Preston Keith from Claremont says he will be embracing the tight bodied men zipping around the streets like ancient Greek gods;
  • Kelly O'Mara from West Perth says she will be working on a good alibi as it was already 'too late'.

Perthians are encouraged to enjoy the amateur Tour de France madness, it's the closest thing to an international event that we are going to get.

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