Hung-over Man's Outrage at Axing of 2 for 1 Powerade Deal

23 July 2013, 8:00am

Angry scenes erupted at the BP petrol station on Mill Point Road on Sunday morning, when crusty drunk, Simon Henderson, was told by staff that the station would no longer be offering the ‘2 for 1’ Powerade deal.

BP employee, Sanjay Patel, was forced to tell the irate Henderson, that BP had discontinued the offer, but he was welcome to take advantage of the ‘2 for 1’ Mount Franklin water deal that was currently on offer. 

Sanjay’s suggestion was not wise in the circumstances.

Henderson virtually exploded, and began ranting:

“You have no idea how much I drank last night. My mouth tastes like an ashtray floating in a river of dick, mate. Do you think Mount Franklin has the power to cut through that?  

The only reason I even come to petrol stations is for the Powerade. I don’t need petrol mate, the State of Western Australia banned me from driving something fierce.

I honestly don’t even know where else to buy Powerade. I’m way too seedy to go into Woolworths.  I’d probably American History X the first kid to scream near me”.

Sanjay was reportedly sympathetic but was unable to offer Henderson a better deal on his beloved blue Powerade. He told the Times:

“You could tell the guy was dehydrated, he usually drinks at the pub across the road, and will come in late on Saturday nights for a pie that’s been sitting in the bain marie for 10 hours… then calls me un-Australian for charging him for sauce. What a vile man”.

Get some rest Hendo.