English Man's Cricket Banter Proves a Little Much for Co-Workers

12 July 2013, 6:56am

Richard Baxendale migrated to Australia in 2010 and commenced work at an accounting firm in East Perth. Baxendale has been known for his lively banter in respect of soccer, the quality of Australian sausages and the fact that "us lot are all convicts innit". 

Baxendale's co-workers always took his banter with a grain of salt, that was until the commencement of the 2013 Ashes Tour at Lords on 10 July 2013. Baxendale relished in the overwhelming consensus that Australia was set for a humiliation.

Office Manager, Roy Cunningham, told the Times:

"Richard came to work after the first day of the Ashes in a particularly obnoxious mood. He took great delight in telling anyone who would listen about the state of the Australian cricket team and how a lack of cohesion had reduced the team to a "steaming pile of horse shit".

Receptionist, Cheryl Smith, told the times:

"he had the German work experience kid up against a wall by the throat, demanding that he pick a side to support in the Ashes, when the kid started to weep, Richard cock-punched him and told him to pull the lederhosen out of his ass and get his priorities right... i think Richard's banter had crossed the line". 

The Times spoke to Baxendale who had gone outside to compose himself after Australia had claimed the wicket of beloved captain Swann, he told us:

"fook-ing Aussie cant take a fook-ing joke, you lot are playing cricket like a bunch of fook-ing bummers... stop looking at me funny ya pencil-dick journo or i'l bounce ya around like a bunny"

It seems Baxendale's passion for the Ashes may see him back in the job market by the months end.