Part 1 - Chocolate Milk
The Chilli King discovers a burger joint that claims to have the worlds hottest burger. Challenge accepted. He grabs his tub of sour cream from the fridge and drives to the spot.
If he finishes the burger in 40 minutes it's free. His technique is flawless and between greedy spoonfuls of sour cream, he defeats the burger. "Thats'a spicy meatball!" he proclaims in a racist Italian accent. The Chilli King doesn't pay for the burger. But there is no such thing as a free lunch.
The Chilli King retires to bed. 3:05am, he wakes up with a stomach ache. He walks to his parents fridge and drinks some chocolate milk. The milk neutralizes the burning chilli in his gut. He goes back to bed. 5:15am, he wakes up needing to piss like a racehorse. As the urine gushes out, his face turns to horror. Chilli has soaked into his urinary tract and he is pissing hot fire.
In agony he runs from the toilet and frantically grabs the chocolate milk. He stands in his kitchen, pouring and rubbing the chocolate milk all over his dick. Groaning in relief and oblivious to his mother sitting down for her morning breakfast. They lock eyes, his dick still in hand and dripping with chocolate milk. His mother leaves the room.
His mother never bought chocolate milk for the household again.
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