The Human Zoo - The P-Dawg - PART 1

The P-Dawg was invited by a friend to a group dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. He arrives early. American flag polo shirt, Chinos and sickening levels of enthusiasm. It is apparent he is American.

"Hey bro, my name is Phil, but call me P-Dawg". The group settles. P-Dawg calls a waiter over, "can we grab enough dim sims for the table?". The waiter politely advises him "we do not have dim sims".

P-Dawg looks frustrated and puzzled. "Bro, I was banging this Vietnamese freshman last summer, I think I know what a dim sim is bro". The table apologies on his behalf.

The group begins eating their Pho and rice paper rolls. P-Dawg is uncomfortable with the brief serenity - "so any of you guys ever done a panty-raid?". A member of the group looks up, "what?". P-Dawg's eyes light up with freedom. He begins to explain the intricate details of sneaking into "freshman slut's" rooms and stealing their underwear.

"Sex criminal" the table thinks.

P-Dawg, desperate to be loved, suggests they go out for "shooters" and "pitchers of bud". P-Dawg wont be raiding any of this group's undergarments tonight. Not ever.